In the Kudablin project, we send completely different people on trips at our expense! Arthur Shigapov visited Ibiza: he noticed how one of the most famous resorts in Europe is similar to Anapa, found a nudist beach among the rocks and saw how the most advanced youth in Europe relax. More details in his report!
Ibiza begins already on the bus, taking the audience to the plane at Domodedovo. Everyone is completely young and perky. Nice girls, advanced guys.
• This was the first flight in which the public applauded not only on landing, but also on takeoff))
• This was the first flight, about which the employee at the airline counter said – oh, how lucky you are, I want to go there too.
• This was the first flight where I was the oldest passenger!! But far from the most sluggish!!
See the wrinkles that crisscrossed the forehead? This is because the task was very difficult. I needed to find a nudist named Varvara on the beaches of Ibiza and apply sunscreen to her back.
Here people, frankly speaking, have everything in order. The most modest hotel room cost 140 euros (peak season!). Entrance to clubs – from 20 euros, who knows where, to 70 euros to the legendary Pacha, where David Guetta banks. Everything is in style and on gas.
The guys are like from a healthy lifestyle advertisement, the girls are pumped up with silicone and wearing stiletto heels, which seems savage in the decaying feminist gayropes. And there are all Spaniards around, you won’t hear English, where can you look for Russians…
In short, full of doubts, but determined, I went to the “remote beach” where everyone had to walk around naked. On the way, I doubted whether the harsh police of nudist morals would kick me out of there? Like, what a shame in such defiantly long shorts, what a shame!
Well, what do I see upon arrival? Yes, this is natural Anapa, everyone is sitting on each other’s heads! And exclusively in swimwear.
I walk across the entire beach, scanning. Towards the end, individual freaks begin to come across, completely naked. Like a wild snow leopard, I prepared to jump, noisily flaring my nostrils in search of easy prey. But the beach was already over, and the damned laces were still entangling the bodies of the shameless ladies. Sometimes I was tempted to go up and free them, for the sake of a successful shot. But then we would have to deal with walking advertisements for healthy lifestyle…
Oops! Yes, this is it, what you need! Just 200 meters from the main beach there appeared…uh-uh…not outcrop bays, but at least pockets of it.
But where can I get a naked Varvara for a selfie? With such a Hamlet-like question, I reached the last bay and saw a bunch of naked men. They looked at me in a bad way. Yes, this is a gay beach! — I remembered the description and immediately pulled my legs back. The sun inexorably burned my neck. Something had to be done. And then I saw HER. A beautiful platinum blonde, clearly bored among the shameful German old women shaking dry wineskins.
— Mademoiselle, Frau, signorina, muchacha, comrade! – I asked in all languages at once. – Their bean blogger, ay nid help for may instagram, just one photo, pliz, yu and so beauty, bonita! – in a convincing voice, sometimes breaking into falsetto.
“Rushen?,” the beautiful blonde asked briefly but menacingly.
– Russian, Russian, crappy painted! — I nodded hastily.
“Nudist Varvara,” the blonde introduced herself a little less briefly. — Do your dirty work, fleacher, and get away quickly before we get swept away.
It was a sign from above. Goddess Freebie graciously pointed her finger at the only illusory option, and it worked. With shaking hands, I squeezed out the sunscreen and rubbed it on the velvety peach skin of the nudist Varvara. Varvara responded with noisy breathing. Why did she go alone to Ibiza, this is the island of love.
The session ended quickly. A few hasty photos – and the German old women began to anxiously twirl their wineskins, trying to find out who was violating privacy here. Then they will star in the dirtiest films of underground studios, but we can’t pose on the beach! I quickly checked in and left, leaving sighing Varvara among the barbarians, under the scorching sun, carefully wrapped in a thick layer of protective cream. If you are reading these lines, beautiful blonde, know that there is a person in the world who is immensely grateful to you…
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Preview photo: Unsplash.com
Text and photo authors: Artur Shigapov
