I was sent. For a survey “where to go and what to do there” as part of the OneTwoTrip “Kudablin” project, readers sent me to Budapest and chose as a task “to collect signatures for the legalization of same-sex fights and in favor of the movement against jellied meat.”
Oooh, that was wonderful! Even the day before, the locals instructed us that the analogue of “jellied meat” in Hungarian culture is called “kocsonia”, that there is very little chance of collecting signatures against it, because kocsonya is popular among the Magyars as well as Franz Liszt and Ferenc Puskás. Unless the Hungarians understand that this is a joke…
And I believed that everything was possible. At home, I received a call from the mass media asking how I assessed my chances in the election campaign.
Budapest. Having refreshed ourselves in the morning in the right outfit at McDonald’s, we headed towards the Hungarian Parliament.
After examining its layout, I came to the conclusion that the trees resemble goat poop. At the same time, I wanted to collect signatures for the removal of goat manure from the model of the Budapest Parliament.
The advertising campaign in the city had already been carried out, and only a small matter remained.
I hid on the embankment near the Parliament, like Kisa Vorobyaninov, who “took a position near the fireproof cabinet.” My face was on the signature sheets, which was supposed to inspire protection, respect and trust.
Dynechka helped me as best she could…
— What kind of candidate is that?
— Well, there he is, sitting on the bench! Vomited with jellied meat….
— Oh, well then, let me sign!
— What are you collecting signatures against?
— Mmmmm… You don’t give a damn? Well, ok, you know such a dish as jellied meat?
— No, we haven’t heard…
— Well, in short, this is such a disgusting, vomiting, trembling and tasteless dish?
— That is, you are collecting signatures against tasteless food?
— Well, if we simplify, then we can say so….
— Then let’s sign!
I’m already silent about the translation into English of the concept “for same-sex fights”))))
Then it was the turn of the “star of the anti-Kholodtsov movement” to go to the people. I spoke the language of “Swabian Narnia”, combining in it a set of meaningless words, because the incomprehensibility in this case — this is the best weapon.
— Will you sign?
— And I’m not Hungarian!
— I do not care! Let’s sign!
As a result, we collected a dozen and a half squiggles in half an hour. Which of them put their original signature — I find it difficult to answer.
I filled out the remaining signature sheets with my own hand, guided by the principle “who will sort it out in this parliament????”
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Preview photo: Unsplash.com
